Throughout my life I often faced many thoughts based on my academic performance that positioned me to feel inferior. If it wasn’t at least a 3.0 or higher, I constantly belittled myself and my consistent struggle with math wasn’t helping the standards I had set so high for myself.
It got to the point where I believed that I was not as smart, or simply dumb, because of one subject! Some of my teachers weren’t as supportive and made me feel uncomfortable about my performance as a student. As a result, I shut myself out and became mentally isolated in class due to fear of humiliation, and the idea that my capacity to learn as well as other students was lower than it should be.
I proceeded to carry this baggage with me into high school when it came time to take the SAT and ACT for college admissions, and the results did not add up to the standards for the schools I desired to attend. It caused my anxiety to increase, and had me revisiting my doubts of attending college, and not being successful.
Even though overall academically I have always performed well, I still was very hard on myself which often led to me falling into crying spells, and slipping into a deep depression.
Today, I still have to remind myself that as long as I do MY personal best, TRY, and withhold FAITH in myself knowing I have made it this far, regardless of the fact that I struggled in math and the fact that I am not the greatest test taker, I still have a purpose in this world and refuse to let any of those obstacles diminish my ability to accomplish my goals.
Whether you are a bad test taker and or struggle in a particular subject like I have, you must understand that a number is not the root of who you are. You are bigger than the number itself and regardless of it not being a 90% or higher, your value and intelligence will not be defined by that.
This finals szn, take the time to show love to yourself mentally in between, before and after studying by affirming to yourself that whatever results you get from your finals, even if it is not what you hoped for, you keep pushing, and do not give up.